September 8, 1974
The Trustees of The Stelle Group
c/o James E. Howery, president
I am answering your letter August 25 in the same order that the subjects were presented by you. To the best of my knowledge I have been dealing only in historical fact; so if you think my references to subject matter which has been gone over again and again in the past constitutes vagueness, I will spell it all out for you in exhaustive written detail. As for accusations by innuendo and general hokum, it appears that you have been dealing that way to such an extent that you suspect others of using your own methods. You even ascribe statements to me which I didn’t make, like my coming to Chicago from Texas to talk to you. Where was there any mention of Texas in my letter? Some of the disturbing trends which brought me to talk to the trustees might as well, be mentioned here. I received report that “Gail is attempting to purge The Stelle Group of all the members who might be more friendly to (me) than to her.” I have also been concerned for some time about the tone of directives aimed at whipping the members into line, and the effects on the membership reported to me. I have not satisfactorily resolved either of these conditions or even fully penetrated them. Also, the quitting of the second man whom I had appointed as a director to help Jim to bring the fiscal difficulties of Stelle Industries into better order requires some action. Only the question of the book royalties seemed settled, but I haven’t yet received the check promised to be paid in August.
John Stone did not admonish me for anything while he was in my presence, but he did complain about a growing trend toward dishonest representation to prospective vendors when ordering goods for which we can’t pay, and he stated that all the Stelle businesses were failing except for the plastics division. His opinions are the first eyewitness report I have received of what is going on inside the businesses for many months.
Your hope that my real reason for wanting to talk to the trustees was to work my way back into Stelle is pure speculation. If you guys have appointed yourselves to be my accusers, judges, and executioners out of some need to have your pet opinions avenged, then you have some realities to face. A couple of days after I left Stelle, I began confiding in Jim many of the reasons why I left home, and I explained in frank detail why I was giving Gail at least a year and a half to get her divorce. That meant I had the resources to last that long. At the present rate of expenditures, I’ll be down to minimum reserves in another year. The money from my royalties of TUF sales are only fair reimbursement of expenses for my travels and present work for the eventual benefit of The Stelle Program and other tasks assigned me. I’ve rarely had contact with my relatives or in-laws, and I certainly don't miss any of them. I now have friends for the first time in many years with whom I can visit freely and enjoy good conversation and entertainment. They like me for what I am, and none of them regard me as a property or even know about TUF. When it wish to be undisturbed and take time to re-create myself and look after my own growth, I can do so now that I live alone. When I work, I can get thins done—and without being expected to be a machine to crank out whatever you demand of me. I feel alive and healthy, and I am happy to be away from the grim personalities of the management crowd at Stelle. I can now eat the food that is good for me, I’ve discovered that I like athletics, I have a hell of a good feeling about my emotional perspectives, and I’m delighted to be a man. Don’t flatter yourselves that I’m just dippy to be drawn back into the stormy waters at Stelle or that I want to live there. You surely couldn’t have found anyone to report that I am sad or forlorn. Dealing with you guys, however, makes me vaguely ill and sometimes just angry, and that makes you a bad second to the other people who populate my life. But you’re there, and I’m expected to look in on you from time to time, and apparently with as best humor as I can. I guess I love you anyhow—regardless how obstreperous you get.
The philosophy in TUF was not made up by me; so in that respect it is not “my” philosophy, but you seem to be trying to portray me saying that I don’t believe in the philosophy by your double-entender wording. However, I do believe in the philosophy. I’ve lived it a lot longer than any of you have, and, I might add, a lot more expertly and understandingly—even in the areas you probably would have considered controversial had I written it all down in TUF. As for the grave doubts in your minds about my making positive contributions at this time, I suggest you re-examine those minds and let a little fresh air and sunshine in. You keep mouthing the phrase about my attempts to subvert the philosophy and direction of Stelle. I suspect this may be the key excuse for your moral posturing as the saviors of The Stelle Group who have moved in to preserve it from me. Indeed, I pay close attention to Those who would not allow such subversion, but none of you are one of Them. The people with whom I’ve talked and the insights I’ve been granted since April go far beyond the books you mention. Why do you state these speculations as if they are fact? Am I supposed to be convinced that my sources were only imagined and now you are revealing an unsuspected truth to me? The only person with whom I’ve shared any part of these experiences lives in Stelle, hut she probably wouldn’t tell you much about them.
I have taught from the very first that Cosmic Consciousness is a prerequisite to Initiation. Whether you call it samadhi, contacting one’s Atman, or mystic enlightenment, it is all the same experience, and people want all the facts so they can make intelligent decisions about it. Are you contemplating book burnings at Stelle? Most of the people who are in Stelle have read Zen and Yoga books, yourselves included, but you became informed more than corrupted by your exposure to as much information as you could find.
You’ll have to show me where any Observations by me promotes sexual promiscuity or gives my approbation for it. Almost every married and single person in Stelle has come to me to discuss his or her sexual or marital concerns at one time or another. The variety and scope of the sexual tastes, appetites and viewpoints they express covers the entire gamut. No one could dictate a “norm” of sexual activity and mores to the group. I’ve made no rules except that lovers should not be blatant about their affaires or be careless insofar as non-members might be antagonized. So long as no one is trying to coerce an unwilling partner and liaisons are kept within the bounds of mutually consenting adults, I keep my nose out of their business. Some in the group find sex almost unspeakably embarrassing whereas others regard the physical act of intercourse as being of little more consequence than a kiss. Strangely, the embarrassed people see sex in almost everything, are dirty minded, and eagerly sexy; at the other end of the spectrum the people are interested in the emotional and spiritual aspects and consider the body as but an instrument to achieve the former concerns. This paradox is a good one to keep in mind when you are counseling members. Each of the people are obliged by their needs to do whatever excites them, not what someone tells then. I dare you to enforce any range of modes on so diverse a group. In Philadelphia there will be Initiates from every culture in the world, and Their ethics regarding sex will be even more diverse while yet being all healthy. There are no swingers in The Stelle Group, but they all seem to seek affection and depth of experience. I can’t fault that, nor can I change anyone’s appetite or taste. You can’t make anyone promiscuous, and you can’t successfully entice a person who is devoted to another. These are all adults who by one means or another manage to satisfy their needs with one another. For me to attempt to interfere in the complex network of interrelations between the members would be a supreme exercise in folly. I could only make hypocrites out of them by trying to impose any special rules beyond the reasonable ones I mentioned above. It is not possible for anyone to violate the sexual mores of the community. As you teach them the wonders and power of love, sexual behavior naturally moves to higher modes of expression. I’m sorry if the trustees are living in we unrealistic never-never-land. Your own views probably could never be comprehended by the majority of the members. If you don’t say anything, they’ll probably assume you’re 0K.
I would appreciate your enlarging upon the four-line paragraph beginning, “You, sir, would bite the hand, etc...” The first part is too vague in its references to mean anything clear to me, and the last sentence is intriguing enough that I would like to understand it.
I never said or wrote that I left Gail the $4,200 of demand notes. She already had those in her own name. how can she say bah humbug?” I left a hundred dollars in cash and the $273.96 in the check book after I paid all of the bills then due. The bonds too were already hers, plus a gold coin worth more than $200 now. Her demand notes were in a brown bank envelope along with the savings bonds, which I recall I left where she could easily see it. If you didn’t find them, let me know. Since there’s no income tax on cashing in the demand notes, The Stelle Group could thereby incidentally wipe out a liability instead of just paying out a salary.
So far as paying alimony to Gail is concerned, let us remember that Gail for years effectively rejected me then arranged her schedule to avoid me in our bedroom for still more years, and now her directive continues her intention to keep me away. That is historical fact, not speculation. Gail may put on an act about being sad without a husband, but she is an expert at talking even trustees into any sales pitch she chooses. I have for years been on the receiving end of her patient but unremitting propaganda to get me to agree to demoting those who have offended her and promoting her favorites as well as trying to convince me to reject associates whom she didn’t like. Any woman who could fast-talk herself out of the Akhnaton purge in Egypt and also keep her head in the David-Solomon transition knows the art of political persuasion instinctively. She’s always known exactly now I would respond to things she said and did, and I’m sure she has the rest of you pegged as well. I feel no moral or karmic obligation to Gail for her support. She’s in and I’m out. Moreover, she stopped using a contraceptive without telling me after I refused to agree to giving her a child, and this is entrapment. Legally I have no recourse if forced by a judge to pay child support, but Gail offered to be solely responsible for Dawn and her rearing. I did not marry Gait to have a family, and she agreed to that before marrying me. I was paying child support for my first two, and I would have no time to contribute to rearing another child. I doubt that Gail would have the gall to accept child support. If anything were to happen to Gail I would provide for Dawn happily. But I’ve had a belly full of Gail’s manipulations, and I’m not going to be pushed another inch. All the personal motives for my marrying Gail have been thwarted for years, and my just being tolerated as the guy who pays the bills is not my image of a husband.
Jim and I met a couple times in April, after I left, and he told me he welcomed the opportunity for a smoother transition into the presidencies. Jim either forgets that he agreed to accept my long distance phone calls to discuss Stelle business about once a week, or else he is deliberately stating a falsehood for ulterior motives. Jim even agreed to accept my calls under the code name of George Bell so the switch board operators wouldn’t know it was me calling the site. The long-distance reverse-charge calls appear on the telephone bills for verifying this.
I learned almost immediately from Jim after I left that Bob Jenson resigned as manager of Stelle Metal Products, but Jim was to try to talk to Bob to see if he would be willing to be a director. Jim told me when I was in California that he couldn’t get in touch with Bob, and because of Bob’s attitude, Jim didn’t think Jensen would be very reliable anyway. The situation with John Stone then was that he wasn’t yet a full member and couldn’t be sworn in as a director until he was. The main point remains that at no time prior to your May 17 directive against me did I receive a suggested candidate’s name for director so I could elect him. After I was handed the May 17 directive with a lame excuse for its being invoked, I learned later that evening from Gary Henderson about Jim’s announcement at the managers meeting, and I quote from Mr. Henderson whose keen perception of such matters I think is well respected: Jim said, “Incidentally, Gail and I are now the Voting Trustees.” After so stating, Jim is reported by Gary to have looked slowly and deliberately around the circle at each of the members apparently to gauge their reaction, and there being none, Jim continued the meeting. I have subsequently double checked this, and Tom Valentine had also been told the same story. Gary Henderson thought it a strange announcement since an April 3 printed notice that I was still to be the Voting Trustee had been distributed. All those at the managers meeting would probably assume that I had approved of such a change, and wouldn’t question it. Gary was visibly shocked to learn from me that I had not authorized Gail and Jim to assume control of the Voting trust, and he became quite glum as a result of this. Your August 25 letter states that I aim still the Voting Trustee. Then what was the purpose of purporting to the managers a distortion of fact? I find it hard to believe that, of all people, Henderson was fantasizing, as you claim. I hope eventually to get to the bottom of this discrepancy.
You claim that I an attempting to play silly, childish games; yet there are glaring inconsistencies in what you say. Your verbal fencing has aroused suspicions in others as well as me. Jim has no honest cause for the hostility he exhibits toward me, and I must therefore conclude that he feels guilty about something. His closing of personal communication in my presence is a typical defense posture in such cases. The red herrings in your written communication and the inordinate vitriolic language indicates that it extends to the other three of you as well. I note your proviso that if I say anything which you alone shall decide may be deceit or negative then you will close communications. Inasmuch as you have taken the position that I am only playing games, your basic assumption is that I am already deceitful. Under such circumstances, my every word and phrase will be taken in the most negative vein so as to fulfill a prejudicial stand. I must confess that I see you cackling over each of my letters and pointing out, “Aha! He’s really screwed himself with that statement,” or, “Surely he must be insane to say that so frankly, we’ll nail him to the wall with that before the members,” or, “He’s misspelled a word, that shows he’s cracking up.” In my lifetime, I have confided somewhat my inner feelings and purposes to only two men whom 1 considered kindred types, and both of them betrayed my reaching out to them as they sought to make political hay at my expense. If I reveal elements of humanness, then I seem to be regarded as just another guy who is fair game for being overthrown by the envious and ambitious who have no concern for the fact that they seek to violate an established chain of authority.
I find it difficult to fathom how Jim has taken it upon himself to assume authority to establish doctrine for the group. When I did not convey that right to him. Or is it that Gail is encouraging him by claiming to be in contact with higher sources? Inasmuch as she was praying frequently to receive spirit guidance for awhile before I left, she has probably been experiencing the subliminal induction of ideas which such invitations so readily bring. Certain ordained churchmen believe they have a traditional authority to issue edicts in the name of Christ, and to my knowledge a few Brothers in the past have been actually allowed to be channels to speak for Christ (St. John for one); but for the most part, almost no Brother is ever likely to be able to issue edicts in Christ’s name. However, mediums are so frequently told by their controls to disseminate ‘revealed” information in Christ’s name, that it practically identities the type of influence contacted. Lower influences are universally arrogant enough to be so disrespectful of Christ as to represent themselves as being His confidants and agents.
The trustees’ directive of May 17, in which you sought to block, point-for-point, the elements of any discussion with Gail, the night before, is ridiculous in your attempt to snow me by claiming to top Dr. White’s authority and even the Council of Seven. I can’t believe that you would have the temerity to presume to speak for Christ on his own; and since such policy decisions have always been the joint effort of all the trustees, I suspect that in his inexperience he was persuaded by one of the trustees that you could pass along what is actually a falsely claimed authority to speak for Christ, or else she really has received a spirit communication which convinced her of receiving a contact of such magnificence. I’ve never suffered the illusion that you have any right or valid authority to impose your directive, of May 17 upon me. And I certainly am never going to honor it except as I voluntarily choose to do so, and then only to the extent which suits my purposes. One of the main reasons I left was to find and prepare sources of financing Stelle. For you to block that now is really cutting your nose to spite your face. I call on you to revoke the May 17 directive. For you to try to continue to hide behind this smokescreen will only bring unpleasant and embarrassing difficulties to you. That is not a threat, it is an expression of certainty which originates from above me. By one means or another, the directive will, soon be revoked. If you will feel comfortable in serving the Brotherhoods’ Plan at Stelle thereafter may well depend upon whether you voluntarily revoke it or are forced to.
I know that Gail tells people that she wants to keep me away, or at least out of sight, to save Dawn from hearing about my being occasionally sighted in the course of my business in nearby towns. I know for a certainty that Dawn is aware that Gail and I will never live together again. That little girl knows about divorces from her playmate’s actual experiences, and Dawn’s awareness is quite sophisticated from the kinds of reading she has done. I am personally more than willing to stay away from Stelle for as many years as it pleases Gail to wait until she gets the divorce, but my superiors will not permit Stelle to run free that long. I don’t intend to got sucked into close association with the group again, but some measure of my guidance is definitely expected. When I answered Fred Pond’s question by replying, “Whatever happens, I hope to see you in Philadelphia” I was not stating my absolute removal but only that the period of absence would be indefinite.
I explained to Jim right after I left that I would be gone as long as it took for Gail to get the divorce, and that is the immediate cause for my absence from the Group. I also confided in him other reasons for my leaving: to devote more time to developing money sources, to investigate free-energy motors and help develop them, to prove to Norbert Kash that the continuation of Stelle is not dependent on my presence there so that he could forget about life insurance to cover his interests in case I were assassinated, to conduct some historical research in other parts of the country, to hopefully have time to write a book, to get a fresh perspective on myself and this Work, and to allow the trustees to test their theory that my presence at Stelle precludes its growth. And I also wanted to observe whether everyone could pull together by themselves without being able to lean on my presence, and to test the competence at the leaders I had brought together, and let them depend only upon their own resources and grit without my applying any reins for awhile. There are still other reasons which are related to changes in my expression of personality, and the need to think out my direction of work and personal motivation for growth. I confess that I also thought I could be relieved of my responsibility for Stelle rather than try to teach where nobody could hear me, but I was not allowed to get out of it. Instead, I got some new assignments on top at it. There are still other reasons for my leaving which cannot be told as yet, but they are not major reasons.
Jim’s inference in the office the other morning that I was trying to cause trouble is insufferable. If any of you think that I am against any part of the Brotherhoods’ Work, including Stelle, then you had better examine your hearts. There is no one in this world with more right to walk the streets of Stelle or partake of any aspect of its activities and business affairs than I. Since you don’t want me to be seen by other members, I try to not cause you embarrassment by flouting your ridiculous directive openly. I have held to the spirit of the pledges I gave to you before rescinding them in my letter of August 14. The reasons I gave for being in the office are simple fact. It I wanted something more, I’d have asked you for it. Don’t imagine that I an in awe of you—sometimes disgusted with you maybe, but certainly not afraid.
There was no “criminal misadministration” of Stelle Industries during my term. All of the trustees were called into the meeting at Jim’s house at 103 to discuss our willingness to develop Armac as a customer, and the calculations made shortly thereafter by our experts determined the extent of the commitment we would make to housing downpayments based on projected income. I executed the decisions of the boards as well as anyone could considering the way things actually developed. Jim was the loudest advocate of increasing building in order that our construction teams wouldn’t loose momentum. I initiated the first controls on spending when no one could give me an accounting for half a year as to where we were financially, and even then the accounts payable were concealed from the financial statements. The mechanics to correct these runaway conditions and the assignment of qualified personnel as they proved themselves was underway before I left. The Armac suit was essentially finalized when I left. The plastics division was finally off the ground after applying much pressure to get it moving. Certainly there had to be tremendous effort, but how it could ever have been allowed to come to the verge of bankruptcy after I left, considering the assets-to-accounts payable ratio, I’d like to look into. Our fluidity problem was essentially no worse that the big corporations, but I didn’t like it. You better be prepared to back up the ‘criminal” charge with good arguments and exhibits.
The money which I took with me was from loans due me, and long-deferred salary earned at one dollar an hour while I single-handedly started Stelle Woodworking. You don’t really think that after you had Jeanette deliver your charges against me that I was just going to leave and let you hang onto my money too. Stelle already has received more than forty thousand dollars from me as well as my energies for years. The interest I could have earned on money given to Stelle Industries for its use is substantial. I am mostly pleased by the measures Jim took to reduce the indebtedness of the industries and his use of the loans I initiated to resolve the Stelle Group’s outstanding debts. I concurred with Jim’s strategy at the time, and I still do.
I’m afraid that you will have to use Tom Valentine’s services to foreword mail for me because there is no other intelligent method that I can work out at the present. He does not read my mail going in either direction. And I can’t very well keep you posted where I’ll be from time to time since I can’t get messages through to anybody at Stelle. Who wants to know the places where I’m going to be anyway, Glen Essington? Isn’t it a little unusual to dictate to the people who write to you where you will send your reply? I think you should credit people with knowing their business best.
It is not my intention to. divide the trustees by having secret dealings with just Jim. I’ll send only one copy of my letters to you in care of Jim, and I expect him to continue to distribute copies to all the trustees at the group’s expense rather than my sending four letters. Since Jim has to execute your decisions on what you concur to reply to me and you all sign a return letter to show your equal joint responsibility anyway, let it all funnel through him in both directions. You’re the ones who want to maintain communication by writing instead of having a meeting; so I’m doing my best. I trust that you will keep up your end of your own stipulation with a current flow of meaningful correspondence.
It is not possible to answer with a yes or a no the first two of the three questions which I supposedly did not answer at one time. I would appreciate a reminder as to when they were asked because I have no recollection of the event. Nevertheless, I will answer them now. 1.) There are things which I have published in TUF which I have not experienced; therefore my understanding is incomplete. I essentially believe everything in The Ultimate Frontier except that a few points require more faith of me than firm belief. And the Observations I have written also represent only what I believe. 2.) I have at times agreed in good faith to assume responsibility for initiating projects without knowing exactly where they would lead or how to go about it at first. The rightness of such a project had to reveal itself as things proceeded. I have had to assume responsibility for the actions of my subordinates who acted wrongly. I will not enter into things which I know to be wrong. 3.) The goal of Stelle is to develop people of quality rather than amass quantity. But development takes years and much loving concern on the part of the teachers.
P.S. Again. Please send my drivers, license application form to me under separate cover in care of Tom Valentine.