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The Stelle
Group Goals on Socio-Sexual
Relationships Introduction The purpose of a
civilization is to promote the development of advanced individuals, and since
the basis of a great civilization is a strong, healthy family unit, the
participants of The Stelle Group should strive to provide the milieu for the
fostering of stable homes. In examining different alternatives as to how we
can relate to each other in a more meaningful manner, we as participants of
The Stelle Group have begun to realize that many of our culturally-taught
ways of relating to each other are not conducive to healthy individuals and
homes. It is toward the understanding of our ways of relating to each other and how this affects our developing civilization that
this statement of intended direction is dedicated. General Comments Our ideal is a civilization
consisting of balanced, happy individuals and balanced happy marriages. The
key to achieving our goals is developing our ability to love. Doing this
necessitates increasing our self-awareness in order that we may more clearly
recognize our own strengths and weaknesses. We have learned that possessiveness, jealousy, exploitation, and manipulation
decrease our ability to love, and conversely, these negative ways of relating
fade away as we open ourselves and let love flow through us. We also
recognize that gossip contributes negatively to the community, and we resolve
to discuss any difficulties we have with the actions of another directly with
that individual. Adult Relationships A
participants of The Stelle Group
may find himself feeling varying degrees of love or attraction for many of
the people he meets in Stelle or Adelphi. What to do about those feelings of
love is a conscious, rational decision based on what is best for all persons
concerned, One may choose only to appreciate another, or to build a
relationship as co-worker, as friend, as brother/sister, or to develop a
romantic relationship. How the relationship is defined is
at one level a private matter between the two persons involved; but on
another level, the vibrations of each relationship in Stelle affect all of
us, Individuals in Stelle are asked to be informed and aware of how powerful
a force the creative/sexual energy is in each person’s life, and to treat
this aspect of a relationship with great respect, considering always the
effects on the whole community of how they express this power. As a
community, we respect the primacy of marital sexual relationships. As an individual grows in
his ability to love his or her spouse, it enhances his or her ability to
share love non-sexually with others, If a couple plans to be married, it is suggested that they first pursue a conscious examination
of their marital compatibility. Premarital and marital counseling is
encouraged for couples, and we also request that
couples be engaged for at least three years to determine the extent of their
compatibility. As a community, we recognize that a marriage is between one
man and one woman, and that that union is to be held
sacred. Any attempts by a third person to seek a romantic
or sexual relationship with an engaged or married person is a
violation of that sacred union. Research has indicated that within the first
three years of a relationship, any incompatibilities that a couple may have
will tend to reach a crisis stage. The risks of the couple breaking up are
strongest during this time. For this reason, we advise couples to avoid
having children during the first three years of their relationship. This
avoids the psychologically damaging situation for parents, and especially
children, involved in a loveless marriage. Every child is entitled to a
loving, nurturing, stable home; and, this is
ultimately reflected in the stability of the civilization made up of the
resultant balanced adults. Every marriage, of course,
has its difficulties and problems that need to be worked
out. A couple who is experiencing problems in their marriage is expected to give energy and time to addressing and
solving these problems mutually. If their best effort does not suffice, they
are then encouraged to seek counseling as a couple, to come to understand
fully the causes of their problems and to heal their marriage, Only after
participating fully in these two processes would a couple, if unsuccessful in
these attempts, agree to separate or divorce. If this should occur, we ask
that the couple make a public statement to show courtesy for others.
Optimally, divorce should result in an amicable relationship. When children are involved,
every attempt should be made to maintain a balanced,
happy marriage and home. If after participating in counseling and personal
reevaluation, that is not possible, the couple should dissolve the union with
great care to minimize the negative effects on the children. Through the development of
our own loving relationships, it is our hope that our children will have a
much greater chance of developing lifelong, loving marriages and satisfying
growth-engendering relationships. Such relationships are one of the most
important social products of a civilization, as they are the rocks upon which
a civilization itself is built. We of The Stelle
Group recognize the importance of nurturing, stable families and marriages
and set that as one of our primary goals. Children One area of focus is how we
handle our socio—sexual relationships in the rearing of our children. Since we recognize that a great majority of one’s attitudes,
morality, and intelligence are established in the first six years of one’s
life, we encourage parents to focus their energy on maximizing their
children’s development and ask couples who are planning to have children to
consider spacing them so that each child receives their undivided attention
for those critical first six years. We acknowledge that the
mother and father are responsible for the education of their children with
The Stelle Group school’s assistance, We are aware that children learn to be
courteous and thoughtful of others when the adults around them treat them
with the respect, consideration and equality that they share with other
adults. We recognize that all The Stelle Group participants are responsible
for the rearing of the children, and we encourage all adults to assist
lovingly in the proper guidance of all children as the opportunities arise.
Love, again, is the keynote of our relationship with our children. Sexuality and its
expression is a very natural God-given quality. It is our
hope that the children of Stelle participants will be freer from negative
cultural conditioning regarding sex than we are, We will try to rear our
children so that they will be much more aware of their responsibility toward
others and will be more considerate of the feelings of others, and will, in
addition, be aware of the importance of a healthy, joyful attitude toward
their sexuality. Much of this training will naturally occur in the
familiarity of the home, but we also see the value of including such
information in the school curriculum. As we work through our
misconceptions, negative programming, and unrealistic views on sexuality, we
will try to be careful not to pass them on to our children. Our children will
thus be clearer in their dealings with the manifestations of sexuality. They
will come closer to achieving the ideal of balanced, happy, healthy
individuals, thus making up happy homes of their own. Summary We of The Stelle Group are
striving to help evolve the greatest of all civilizations. Beyond a doubt,
the development of our ability to love will be the strong point of that
civilization. Yet, at the present time, we can only
capture a glimpse of what life will be like when everyone has the capacity to
love in the fullest sense of the word. It is our experience that
the most enjoyable and rewarding sexual relationship occurs in the context of
an exclusive intimate relationship—one in which the man and woman really grow
to know and accept one another, to understand one another, and to love and
nurture one another. True marriages are based on
such a relationship. The development of any intimate relationship requires
effort on the part of the two people involved—effort to overcome past
conditionings, and effort to teach and set an example for our children so
that these abilities become natural to them. At present in Stelle, and
soon in the Nation of God, we look forward to the results of our efforts. |
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