February 13, 1975

 

 

Dear Friends:

 

I have had a number of phone calls and conversations with people in the last two days in which I have been asked what I was going to do or say. My first reaction was simply that I did not have to do anything. Then I asked myself if this answer was a cop-out. Because, after reviewing the possibilities, I did not find anything I could say which would truly help Richard, you, or me, I decided that “Nothing” was the appropriate response to the question.

 

So why am I writing this letter? Well, there are several things which I feel I should say at this time. First of all, if any one of you has a question which you want me to answer, I am available by phone or in person anytime. Many of you know this, but there are others of you who may need to have me open the door to your questions. I will answer your questions to the best of my ability, differentiating my opinions from what I have been told or studied, but I will answer no question you do not ask, for to do this would be an interference in your environment as well as Richard’s and probably constitute gossip.

 

Second, I do not share Richard’s reality that we are not now married, nor his reality that we have not been married for some time. I will acknowledge that Richard apparently does not feel married at this time, but for myself I must say I do. I chose to love Richard sixteen years ago, and I still choose to love him. I cannot control Richard or his decisions, but I am responsible for my own. At this time, I will not seek a divorce, consent to a divorce, nor desire a divorce.

 

Third, I have heard from several people that the Trustees have been holding back information because they felt you could not handle it. Where on earth that idea comes from is beyond me. Personally, I expect you to handle all information that comes your way, and deep down in me I know you can. But that does not give me the right to ask you to carry my problems or any other problems that you cannot solve because they are not yours. I believe that it is karmically dangerous for me to do or say anything which could cause you to doubt Richard, THE ULTIMATE FRONTIER, the Brotherhoods, or yourself. Please remember it is not my job to provide your tests.

 

Lastly, I would like to deal with a comment made to me the other day which troubled me more than anything else has up to this point. A member said to me that she had decided that the only person she could trust was Christ. My reply to her and to the rest of you is: for me that is not true. I trust each and every Stelle Group partici­pant, and I will continue to do that until you as an individual prove me wrong. I have dreamed of a place for a long time where I could trust all other citizens. For me that dream became Stelle. And I will not give up that dream. Sure, you will stumble, and I will stumble. But I believe we will get up and go on. As we make mistakes, we will fix them. And isn’t that what Egoic growth is all about? I trust that each of you desires your dream enough to hang on to it and bring it into reality through daily practice of the Virtues and the Philosophy.

         

Sincerely,

 

Gail Kieninger

 

 

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