Marriage, the Home, and Human Sexuality


Excerpt from Minutes of Meeting of Board of Trustees with Richard on November 24, 1975:



… This led into a discussion of the benefit of having Emissaries here to help define the right direction. Richard said he doesn’t think the group is ready for Citizenship Training, for the reasons stated in his letter of May 31, 1974. He said he is concerned with a certain rigidity in the group that mostly derives from hangovers from our present civilization. He said the group seems to be very unsure as to what constitutes loving another person—what are the bounds of that and it always seems safer to do nothing than to do something. People are going to have to loosen up, he said, and say, “This is really my family—all of the people here.” He said there also needs to be some way for people to feel more welcome when they come into the group. He said that in many ways we have evolved ourselves but have not evolved a society. He said that individual homes are a very sound part of the plan, but that this should not limit us in reaching out to other people. He said the closeness he is speaking of, the feeling of family with out neighbors, would probably operate only within a specific neighborhood (neighborhoods have been defined in the past as con­sisting of approximately 3,000 persons) with the people we meet daily. He said the goal is human happiness, productivity, and Egoic advancement.


Malcolm asked Richard what he considered to be the ideal as to marital relationships. Richard said the ideal is healthy, happy individuals and healthy, happy marriages. Walter said that Richard had explained to him an integrated system of social interaction, which was related to Richard by a Brother named James some years ago in Chicago. Richard said that he did not wish to explain the system again, but that he would write a book discussing the topic in general; he said Walter could relate to the other trustees the content of their discussion the day before. Walter reported as follows:[1]


“Richard and I discussed the relative lack of effectiveness of the present social system, in that the real rate of true marriages, or “balanced polar couplings,” is very low. Richard estimated that only one in every five marriages even works out to be marginally effective; this he attributed to the way in which we raise our children and our general consciousness with regard to human sexuality. He stated that in order to correct the situation, it will be necessary to rethink and restructure our attitudes toward social interaction. Richard said that we should try to reverse the proportions to the point where four out of five marriages would be true balanced polar couplings; but to do so will require us to move gradually toward a system where relationships are based on a loving, caring attitude rather than one which is essentially exploitive as in the present society. When I asked further questions as to how specifically Richard thought we might more effectively raise our children, he said that a Brother named James had spent about two days with him in Chicago sometime during 1959 and had informed him of a system which had been used successfully in Lemuria and ancient Egypt. James did not tell Richard how we should structure our social system in Stelle or the Nation of God; He simply outlined a system which had produced a high percentage of balanced polar couplings, amid therefore stable homes in which to raise children, during previous civilizations.


“Richard went on to say that children were instructed from birth in the essentials of learning how to express affection and nurture non-exploitive relationships which would be to the benefit of all parties concerned. Children were not made to wear clothing, and they were not enjoined from sexual expression of affection for one another. It was not uncommon, for instance, for children four or five years old to learn about sexual intercourse with other children of similar age; but this comparative freedom was tempered by a system of strict discipline based on the following:


1.           A loving, caring attitude coupled with the development of a sense of responsibility for other people as well as for oneself.


2.           Strict age groupings. These groupings were not specified, but a ten year old boy, for instance, was not permitted to interact with a four year old girl due to obvious physical discrepancies. Once a child reached puberty, he was not permitted to interrelate with pre-pubescent children.


3.           Instruction in birth control, No one who was unmarried was permitted by the rules of society to bear a child. Abortion was employed in the rare instances when it became necessary, or an adoptive family was found.


“After attaining adulthood, a man or woman could become involved only with other adults. There were no restrictions imposed by the society on relations of any sort by consenting adults, except as they related to marriage and children. Here again, the relative freedom was tempered by a disciplined


1.       No couple was permitted to declare their state of marriage and be officially recognized by the State as married until they had lived together for at least three years as an initial test of their compatibility. During this period expert counseling services were available to everyone.


2.       Marriages so declared were recognized to be officially contracted unions between man, woman, and State, and could only be dissolved given the consent of the State.


3.       Childbearing was allowed only after an officially recognized marriage had been contracted. Unmarried couples, even though they might be living together, were not permitted to have children.


“The result of this freedom combined with disciplines which related to the chief concern of the society, namely the welfare of children who would become future Citizens, was that a very high percentage of the official marriages were also true marriage, or balanced polar couplings. This meant that home-life was quite stable. The children were raised in such a way that they were capable of creating balanced polar couplings; therefore, a highly refined state of civilization was maintained. There was a strong sense of commitment to nurture one’s marriage as a true balanced polar coupling due to the recognized importance of maintaining a stable home for the rearing of children. Every effort was made by married couples to resolve differences and advance within a lifetime in such a manner that a balanced polar coupling could be maintained. For example, if a man were required to upgrade his education in order to further his career, then his wife was also required to undertake such training, In the instances where couples were not able to maintain balanced polar couplings, divorce was permitted. In these cases, the woman frequently returned to live with her family. Families were often quite extended, so that aunts, grandmothers, etc. lived within the same household; when this was not the case, relatives tended to live in close proximity to one another. In this manner, children of divorced parents experienced life in a setting, which afforded examples of balanced polar couplings and strong male and female figures. The parents shared the responsibility for the children, and every effort was made to see that such children were not socially or culturally deprived.


“Single people were never made to feel compelled to marry in order to gain social acceptance; it was considered far better to have fewer marriages than to have marriage forced by society on individuals who were not inclined toward marriage. Homosexuality was not forbidden, and if a man or woman wished to establish a relationship with another individual, that was considered to be strictly the business of the individuals involved. Richard understood this to be a rarity, however, since homosexuality is not in harmony with fourth-plane attraction.


“With regard to adultery, James said that this had existed in every society, and that the Jews had finally thought of a word for it. He said that it was fruitless to forbid adultery, because some persons felt compelled to experience relationships outside of an existing marriage, but that this practice tended to detract from the maintenance of a balanced polar coupling.


“The central theme of the system Richard presented was that if a society allows individuals to develop into balanced, happy human beings, then balanced polar couplings will naturally develop, because this is part of God’s plan. Balanced polar couplings cannot be created or enforced by society, but good marriages are based on such relationships, and the stable homes which result are the foundation of civilization.”


This concludes Walter’s summary.


Richard went on to say that he had avoided presenting the information, which had been passed on to him by James because he had not yet fully integrated it into his personality. He said that he felt as though he had each of his legs firmly planted in a different culture. He also said that the ramifications would be staggering if his information were to become known as representative of the official thinking of The Stelle Group, and that he had hoped to delay its presentation until we no longer had to worry about interference from local governments.


Richard said that he felt that the surfacing of this information would not cause very many immediate changes in the behavior of members of The Stelle Group, but that the strain of integrating these ideas into our thinking may eventually cause a period of difficult social adjustment. He stated that to fully integrate the information into our consciousness may take as long as five or six generations (150 to 200 years). He said that we had to start sometime, however.


[1] Due to the importance of presenting the following information without distortion, Richard Kieninger has reviewed this written text and the necessary corrections have been made. It is not intended to be a complete discussion; Richard hopes to further clarify this area in his future book, which he estimates will cover four hundred pages.