|
|
||
|
|
Development of Adelphi’s Behavior Guidelines Q: Is Adelphi tasked with preserving
the aspects of civilization worth preserving to carry into the RK: Correct. Not all by
itself. I mean there is going to be many help from people who are
already Initiates in what have you. Q: What sort of things are you doing now in that regard? RK: Well, we spend a great deal of time trying
to develop ways of interpersonal behavior that we can agree on. I would say the last half year has been concentrating
on that thing. We have come up with—I guess the way to say it
is we hammered out Behavior Guidelines that we all agree that we are going to
abide by. That is something that we—what that list is we provide to
people who are applying to become members, so that they have an idea of they
can expect from Adelphi members when they become residents of Adelphi
themselves. I think that is a major project; to
think that stuff through. Q: What does the list stand for …? Q: Were are trying … to refrain from
yelling at one another … do not harm another’s reputation, etc. RK: There is about forty of them. Q: And still growing. RK: I do not think it is going to grow too
much more. I think we have explored almost everything. And there are some
things that what we just will not tolerate at all—theft or hurting another
person— Q: It sounds very mental. Do you have a
technique to just have … from this right action
right action to not violate any of the laws of nature in your life? RK: I think that comes by practicing it. It is
much like the Great Virtues. Q: It still seems mental and not from the heart if you have to
think about it rather than just spontaneous acts. RK: Most of the people in the group do not
need those rules. I mean, we were just trying to think about what kinds of
things would be offensive. But, it does help to have
a “code.” Every organization has a code of some sort of higher standards: even
street gangs. I mean they do. Maybe the rules are not spoken, but— Q: I was just wondering, by having the standards you eventually
might hope to just spontaneously live that instead of about using it on a
piece of paper? My feeling is that all knowledge is always available to us at
any point of time and consciousness. Perhaps, eventually, it just becomes
lived spontaneously so it does not have to be thought
about. RK: Correct. But, one
of things that is advantageous—There are teenagers who are involved too and
it is nice for them to see. Having it spelled out, somehow or other, allows
you to be conscious of it. There is a rule, in fact, that the psychologists
are aware of. Until a color is
named, you do not see that color. It is there, but you are not
conscious of it. Until a shape is named for a child,
he does not see that shape. Until you tell him this is a square, this is a
triangular, and this is the circle—until that happens he can now
differentiate. He becomes conscious of the differences. Otherwise, is just a shape. The same sort of thing happens when we spell out
definitions of the Twelve Great Virtues. Then a person, being conscious of
them, can begin to live them because he will see, “Oh, I fell short of that.”
“I have to make an effort to overcome that.” If a person “fakes it until he
makes it,” he eventually does get to the point of it just being natural. He
does not have to think about it anyone. What we are thinking
about is eventually there are going to be people coming in from many
different cultures. We know that we have a Third Degree Brother married to
two First Degree Brothers. Maybe his third wife is not a Brother at all. How
are we going to get along with that? In another words, what I am trying to
say, by that example, is we are going to have to adjust to a lot of different
things, which although are acceptable so far as the Brotherhood are
concerned, are brand new to us in our culture. What are going to be the
interpersonal kinds of things which should be a
standard for everybody, regardless of what culture they come from? I think
the way the wording was, on these Guidelines, is that everybody would look at
them and say, “Well, certainly.” It is common sense kind of stuff. Bringing
it to a consciousness helps. Also you can say that
if you fail somehow or rather that you have been abused in some way, you can
say. “Well, so and so did number five to me and that was not right.” So, I can go to him and say, “Maybe we should look at
whatever is causing this problem between us that you are doing a number five
number on me.” I think that is helpful because we do not people running to
the directors all the time. Q: What is the individual truth that the chair that the person
was sitting in that did the “number five” did not perceive it like that, and their individual truth … and even though that is
happens what happens to the individual truth and perceptions? And not what you though about a reputation. This person is
doing “number five” to me. Is that ruining his reputation? RK: We are talking about a conflict. Well, you
say that so-and-so did “number five.” You that to yourself.
You do not go talking to everybody else about it because there is a rule
against gossip as well. Q: That is what I am talking about. What about spontaneous action? Why do I have to even think about “number five or number twenty?” RK: Well, most people do not need to. But, not all of us have been brought up exactly the same way with
the kinds of experiences that we have had to live through—maybe you had a
brother or sister, something like that, who made your life miserable and you
have come up with ways of defense against those things, which are now been
carried over into areas where they shouldn’t be. Becoming aware of it
just by reading it you say, “This tool is not available to me to get my needs
meet any longer.” That is a way of self educating
yourself. You are perfectly right when you say all this should come from the
heart because that is where it should. But until
such time it is just perfectly natural it is good that... Q: Why can’t we give feedback instead of outward— RK: Right. Because as they say, “I do not want to have to be
involved in one person tattling to another: so-and-so did this to mean and so
and so did that to me,” because we, as directors, do not have time for that
sort of thing. If you have the problem, deal with the person with who you have the problem and here is the tool by which to
define it. Right. So we
think it is a way of making life easier for everybody all concerned. Q: It takes a lot of truthfulness and patience. I think a lot of people are not able to be truthful and say, “I
feel you did that that I went through.” RK: Yes and we like “I” statements rather
than, “You did that to me.” So I did to everybody
else and nobody complained so it must be your problem. Q: There were ten people in the room and you feel
like that and we all felt like that and who did I “make feel?” They all made
themselves feel. RK: Right and some people won’t
feel at all, because they do not, right, not their issue. You have been
studying this I can tell. |
|
|
|
|
|
