Marriage and Romanticism


By Richard Kieninger


The custom of marriage is here to stay. There have been many eras when the popularity of marriage has declined, but it is still the most rewarding of human relationships in its many challenges and responsibilities. Only those societies which develop sound, stable families develop emotionally healthy chil­dren in sufficiently large numbers to develop advanced civilizations. When a society demands that its offspring adhere to moral principles in lovemaking and mating, it also develops complementary romantic devices to encourage lifelong unions and the mechanics to sustain them. Christ speaks of the optimum situa­tion of monogamy and the resisting of extramarital liaisons since they weaken the bonds of marriage. This is no condemnation, however, of those societies where a heavy death rate among males demands polygamy for survival.


The currently popular “playboy” philosophy, which extols instant sexual gratification, precludes development of passion and defeats long-term develop­ment of interpersonal concerns. The shallow, dissociated flitting from partner to partner to find sexual excitement becomes animal in nature and discourages love. And without the bonds of love, one is even more cast adrift in the world. This trend toward depersonalization is exemplified in our current dance fads where people dance at one another rather than together. Romanticism is the reverse of this trend. The recent romantic era was itself a reaction against the bawdy, licentious “Tom Jones” Era in Europe, which discouraged marriage and created a social and economic decadence which finally became intolerable to those immersed in it.


The justification for romanticism is that is excites passion—passion being the essence of vitality and enthusiasm. The French have a saying which avers that the aim of passion is to increase itself. Sexual gratification, on the other hand, results in a cessation of passion and, at least temporarily, produces physi­cal and psychic ennui, which is death oriented. This is not to imply that absten­tion or celibacy is advocated. Obviously, a purpose of romanticism is to heighten satisfaction.


This wisdom of sustaining a romantic excitation of passion in marriage in order to keep it growing through the decades was long ago recognized by the Elder Brothers. In Lemuria, the school system conducted separate, confidential classes for boys and girls in their late teens and instructed them how to achieve the mystique of their respective masculinity or femininity in relationship to the opposite sex. Good grooming, graciousness and mystery are feminine tools for attracting and holding a male. The most fascinating ladies of the world have been those whose demeanor is flirtatious but who clearly have no intention of delivering themselves to a man except in marriage. They could interest without arousing, thus attracting lifelong male friends.


All the enthusiasms of life involve a passionate nature, and lack of passion leaves one bored and sour. If we can convey the romance of passion about life to our children while protecting them from the traps of prematurely gratifying sexual desire outside of love, then we shall develop mature, vivacious engagers with life upon which to found a great, exciting civilization.


In recognition of that understanding, the occasion of a couple’s marriage is one of the most celebrated events in The Adelphi Organization. Marriage usually comes after a long period of courtship as the members of TAO recognize the importance of a strong, stable relationship prior to entering marriage and bearing children. Secure, happy, loving relationships are paramount to raising superior Egos by providing the proper psychological and physical environment. Nothing is more important to civilization than this all-important task, and the responsibility lies primarily with married couples. Many couples undergo, at their own initiation, premarital counseling, psychological compatibility testing or extensive discussion of their life goals individually and as a couple.


The way in which a couple decides to celebrate their marriage is as varied as are the individuals. The setting is each couple’s personal decision and may range from a quiet ceremony in a home with only family or witnesses present to a community-wide traditional church wedding with full reception and dancing.


In addition to emotional support, the members provide the newlyweds-to-be with much physical support including assistance with wedding plans, bridal showers, pre-wedding parties, housing for out-of-town guests (if available), food preparation, decorating, etc.


The wedding is only the start of a marriage. The honor, respect, and support given a couple on their wedding day are continued in their day-to-day life as husband and wife. The institution of marriage as an integral part of Christ’s Great Plan as it is a primary mechanism by which man learns about his fellow man and therefore advances himself to Brotherhood and eventually Mastership.




A Collection of Thoughts on Loving Relationships